meditation

Meditation Basics: Counting breaths is not like counting sheep.


"Just close your eyes and count your breaths
they say. How simple can it be?
Don't think about anything else though. Just concentrate on your breathing." Well
anyone who has tried this "simple" meditation knows that it just isn't that easy.

There are many obstacles to this seemingly effortless task. Our minds tend to wander naturally. If we try to completely focus on anything for more than a few seconds
random thoughts take over. And breathing is boring; let's face it. How can you concentrate on something so mundane when there are much more interesting things racing around in your head?

A typical session might go like this: I close my eyes
sit comfortably
and begin counting. Inhale one
inhale two
inhale... "Am I doing this right? I guess so
I'm already on... oh three." Inhale four... "Now
am I supposed to start over at one or just keep going?" Inhale one
inhale two
inhale three
inhale four. "Wow
I'm really getting the hang of this. Oops." Inhale one
inhale two... "Did I remember to pay the phone bill? I'm sure I did. I'm really good at staying on top of my bills. Not like Susan
she's always... Darn
I did it again." Inhale one
inhale two...

The good news is it does get better with practice. The bad news is it can still be a struggle for experienced meditators
especially during busy or turbulent periods in one's life. Luckily
there is more good news. There are some specific things you can do to help you focus and reduce the frustration in your meditation practice. In this article
I would like to offer three tips to help you with your practice. They are: Observe don't control
be compassionate
and enjoy yourself.

First
don't force or try to control your breathing. This is a mistake that a lot of beginners make. Many inexperienced meditators consciously or unconsciously alter their breathing in an effort to focus on it. What results is an exaggerated and often irregular breathing pattern. This can actually inhibit your meditation rather than help it.

What you want to do is just "watch" your breathing. You don't have to exert any additional effort at all. If you just wait and observe
you will breathe. Then
you can count. Of course
we all know this but many people still find themselves forcing it. If you catch yourself controlling your breaths
just gently remind yourself that it's not necessary and then wait for the next breath to come naturally.

This brings me to the next tip
compassion. In this case I mean for yourself in your meditation practice. As we've been discussing
it's not an easy thing to do to concentrate on one's breath. It's very important not to scold yourself when your mind wanders or you catch yourself controlling your breathing. If you think about it
the time you would spend reprimanding yourself for breaking your focus is just more time away from your meditation. It is best to softly bring yourself back to your practice as soon as you notice you're wavering. Don't get down on yourself and start thinking
I can't do this. This is never going to work for me.
These negative thoughts do nothing to help your practice and waste valuable time. Be compassionate. Just brush it off and return to your meditation.

Another way to look at these wanderings is to realize that they are an important part of your progression. Meditation is a skill. And like most skills
it requires practice. A baseball player doesn't step into the batter's box for the first time and start hitting homeruns. He makes mistakes and corrections
and improves over time. He can then gauge his progress by the reduction of errors. Even after he is an experienced batsman
he will still strike out more often than he would like. But his hits should increase as well.

In your meditation practice
your mind will likely wander more in the beginning. But don't give up. It will get better. Just like the baseball player
you will realize fewer mistakes over time and you will learn to recover from them more quickly. Sure
you will still have challenges and even slumps from time to time but you will also have more successes.

The final tip I would like to offer is to find enjoyment in your practice. Even though it may be tough at times
daily meditation can greatly enhance your life. Don't rate yourself and expect to progress or improve to a particular degree or within a particular timeframe. Unlike baseball
mediation is a life-long experience. Remember
this is your time. Let it be your oasis not a chore. No matter what else is going on in your life
your meditation time can be your escape. As a Zen master once said
It's just you and your breath and then it's just your breath.
Breathe in
breathe out
and forget about the world around you. Even when you're busy or preoccupied with some problem
even if you can only find ten or fifteen minutes to be alone with your breath
enjoy it.

I hope these tips will help you to enhance your meditation experience. They have certainly proved to be invaluable in my own practice over the years. Of course I still struggle from time to time with the very same issues we've discussed here. But through observing rather than controlling
being compassionate to myself when I falter
and enjoying my special time alone; I have made my life fuller and happier.